Slowpocolypse - Koala Unicorn T-Shirt

The Koala is the Keeper of the Unbothered Flame. Other heralds of the Slowpocolypse have portfolios, the Tortoise tends to deep time, the Panda presides over the slow unraveling of abundance, the Sloth has abolished the concept of urgency entirely. The Koala simply holds his eucalyptus branch and waits. Nobody knows what he's waiting for. He probably doesn't either. The prophecy says that when he finally finishes that branch the second age of slowness begins, which is somehow slower than the first. He has been at it since before recorded cosmology. Art by Jon Wye.