Do you really make everything yourself and in Washington DC?

Yes, come visit us at the shop and see for yourself.

How long will it take for my order to get to me?

Check out our Shipping page for a breakdown on production and shipping times.

I need my order rushed to me. What can you do?

E-mail us and we'll see if we can make magic happen. We're very good at responding.

What if I get the wrong size or don't like it or it wasn't the right gift for someone?

Long and short... you aren't stuck with it. Check out our hassle-free return policy.

Credit Card security?

jonwye.com processes credit cards through Authorize.net. And because of new credit card rules we can only see the last four digits of your credit card and so we do not have access to your credit card number and cannot make additional charges. The most we can do is authorize a refund with your credit card info.

I can't think of anymore questions to answer. So I'll just tell you that in all things we try to follow the Platinum Rule of "Treat others the way they want to be treated." But if you are being unreasonable I will call you out on it. We're not some big corporation with a customer service script.

FFAQs (Fun Frequently Asked Questions)

Did the cows, whose hide you use, transcend to a higher plane of existence before being parceled out?

Time has no beginning or end.

What kind of shows do you watch?

Lots of cartoons like Adventure Time and The Misadventures of Flapjack. And I'm a comic book nerd so anything comic book themed.

Do you have a life-philosophy?

Be excellent to each other.

Do you have a moral foundation?

Star Trek the Next Generation.

What if I eat my belt?

It is no business of mine what you do with your belt. Please do not send me photos. Or do.

Can we hang out?

Only if you have 1 degree of separation from my celebrity crush or if you order an extra large with anchovies.

If there is something strange in my neighborhood who should I call?

hmmmmm, I don't know really. If only there were a service out there that handled odd happenings.